I am in Tokyo – at least when I am writing this. After an uncomfortable sleepless night in the Bangkok airport, I boarded my flight to Japan. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t have my own personal tv. The movie that they played was something about a guy inventing intermittent windshield wipers. How exciting. An American guy came and sat across the aisle from me. He sat down in the seat and said, “Another one of those tight ones!” No sir, it is not the SEAT that is tight. A stewardess kindly brought him a seatbelt extension. As soon as he opened his mouth he didn’t stop. For six hours. When he wasn’t chatting, he was snoring. I feel so bad for the little, innocent Japanese girl that had to sit by him and listen to all of this. If I were her, I would have pretended to not speak English, or at least have used the ipod trick for ignoring someone. After awhile, he started showing off his martial arts moves and flailing his elbows everywhere and across the aisle.
As all this ruckus was going on beside me, I was gawking at the ever-entertaining SkyMall magazine. It’s always the same, never changes, and yet I can’t peel my eyes away. I can’t stop staring at all that useless crap. The stuff people THINK they need! This is why I find it so fascinating. It IS refreshing and somewhat comforting to know, however, that after all these years, they still have the Kitty Fresh Water Drinking Fountain, the Worlds Largest Crossword Puzzle, and even the Aerating Lawn Shoes! You know you remember them too. In an attempt to modernize, a few new things have been added to the catalog, such as a Digital Camera Snorkel Mask and the Dog Indoor Bathroom Lawn.

Like I said, I am in Japan. I have been here many times, and yet I have never left the airport. I should venture out sometime. I’m pretty much the only one in the airport that isn’t wearing a mask. Health inspectors wearing their blue lab coats are carrying around their fever-detection equipment. I hope I don’t get swine flu. I’ve been trying to drink as many fluids as I can in order to take advantage of the amazing Japanese toilets.

I have one more 9 hour flight ahead of me, then I officially step foot on the US of A! I don't know if I'm ready for this.

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