2.7.15

Tarrying

I downloaded some new sleepy-time music for Ellis called "Lullaby Hymns" by Katy Kinard (you can listen to it here).  Because of this album and because I've been studying some hymns lately thanks (again) to SheReadsTruth, I've been speaking old english lately.  I always love the opportunity to add words to my vocabulary like "nought" and "interpose".  One word I've seen repeated several times is "tarry" and a hymn called "In the Garden" has become one of my favourites because of that.  I dont even know the lyrics to the rest of the song, but it's the chorus that sticks with me:


"And he walks with me and he talks with me, he tells me I am his own, 
and the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known."

tar·ry2
ˈtarē/
  1. stay longer than intended; delay leaving a place.
    synonyms:lingerloiterprocrastinatedelaywaitdawdle
    antonyms:hurry

I am not a patient person. I think I came from a "chop-chop" kind of people where everyone walks fast and makes it out the door on time.  Reuben is not like this.  He lives on "Malaysian time" and likes to meander nice and slow.  I hate waiting for him and he doesn't mind waiting for me.  If I could be defined by any of that definition above, I would probably be the antonym: hurry.

But little ones love tarrying.  They like to stop and linger. They want to read the book for the fourth time.  They want to cuddle for ages and try their very hardest not to fall asleep. They want to cross-examine that hole in the ground.  They want to set a record for how many times they can go up and down the stairs by themselves.  They define dawdling.

Sometimes it's endearing.  Sometimes it drives me crazy.  Then I hear the words of that old Garden hymn and it makes me stop and think about that promise of joy that is said to be found.  The trouble is, you have to tarry to find it.   It isn't found alone.  It is intentional and deliberate, but it can't be achieved, at least in the way that we define achievement.   Tarrying is like waiting on purpose, and an impatient person like me won't accidentally tarry very often.  Luckily, I have two men in my life who excel at it.


Tarry with me, mommy!


And so I'm grateful for this season of motherhood, which is full of so many things to do and yet so many chances to slow down.   I may not be any good at it, but I am going to keep humming that hymn as if my life depended on it.  Because maybe the life worth living really does.

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