A weary world rejoicing

Our home feels a lot more empty and lonely without family around.  December is always a tricky month for me.  Christmas is one of my favorite seasons, but it's also one of the hardest.  It is full of highs and lows.  I wanted to share this video below (link here) because I can't stop coming back to it:  I feel the same pull between these two poles this Christmas season- the deep joy and hope found in the "already" and the longing, aching, and yearning of the "not yet".

Christmas is full of these contradictions and my mind has been full of them today.

Fully God and wholly man.
Born to die.
Deep darkness and brighter light.
Mary treasuring and Rachel weeping.
Lowest and highest.
Eternal and brand new.
He was rich and became poor.
His poverty made me rich.
A weary world rejoicing.

I pulled out the nativity set from my childhood days today.  Even though he's too young to understand right now, I love watching Ellis play with it.  He knows that Jesus sleeps in the manger and that the donkey and the sheep eat the hay (Mary and Joseph eat it too).   He even said "Jesus" today which just about broke me.

Besides the grief of losing baby Jesus a half a dozen times today, Christmas, as we have presented it to Ellis thus far, is on the fun and joyful side.  He's not old enough to know sadness and suffering yet.  My heart was leaning towards the longing and aching side today and yet this gift of motherhood offered me the privilege of sharing the joy with him.  This baby came to rescue you.

And so I am living in this in-between.  I see darkness and yet I see light.  I treasure and I weep.  The curse may be found far, but His blessings flow farther.  Let this weary world rejoice!

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